it's kind of like the difference between putting your hand on your knee, and him putting his hand on your knee. When you touch your knee, you don't feel it, nothing happens, it's just there. But when he has his hand there, you feel everything. Every move of his palm, every squeeze of his hand, and every brush of his finger. And you feel it right down to your toes and up to your neck. Everything in your body tingles, but it's the most wonderful thing ever. Every move he makes, makes a difference.

Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect him to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect him to calm you down when you’re yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely, utterly defeated when something doesn’t exactly match up with all your plans. But that’s the thing. Love isn’t a plan. It doesn’t have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it. Love is so incredibly messy. People around you can’t comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can’t see. They can’t see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you’re in love. It’s so painful and devastating at times, but we can’t live without it. What you don’t learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn’t worth it until we are complete idiots about it. Love isn’t him calming you down when you yell. It’s him yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded. It isn’t him bringing you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear more presentable. It’s after a long fight, that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet him giving you a call or showing up at your door the next day anyway. It’s not him saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you. So no, it’s not her caressing your hair and telling you that everything’s going to be alright. It’s him standing there, admitting he’s just as scared as you are. You have to remember that with love, you’re not the only one involved. You’ve unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another person’s hand and said “here. Do what you will. Mash it into mince meat. Or forget I ever handed it to you. As long as you have it.” It makes us crazy. It makes us invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn’t cross. Because love isn’t about fencing ourselves in, feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It’s about scaring the crap out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it. And it’s a lot better than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is a world of difference between feeling ‘happy’ and feeling whole. Life is a challenge, and so is love. Things never come easy in life. If they do, memories are rare, suffering won’t get you through the tough times, there’s nothing to look back on. There’s no mistakes that you learn from. In the end, it’s all worth it =)I love you baby.

Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.

I think she was afraid to love sometimes. I think it scared her. She was the type to like things that are concrete, like the ocean, something you could point to and know what it was and I think that’s why she struggled with love. She couldn’t touch it. She couldn’t hold on to it and make sure it never changed. I think she's so me.

When someone’s worth it, you are willing to stop flirting with other people to prove it to them. You are willing to stay up late even if you’re really sleepy and tired. You instantly “miss” them as soon as you guys get off the phone. You start to think about the future with them and you just can’t help but smile. When someones “worth it”, don’t let them get away.

And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened.