everything~!

hmmm~this month there's many many birthdays of my friends going on~

and i spent quite a lot this month for presents and cakes and time and i became ANTI-STUDY girl...lol~not really anti..but when it comes to birthdays..i just prefer taking time out and celebrate it happily~^^

and i will be ended up not studying~

recap of the week in my school~this week is quite fun actually~with all the birthdays and food and cakes and exercising and fun fun fun~!

oh ya~i amost forgotten this..i broke the so called u-tube in the chemistry lab~i just hold it...for not more than 5 seconds and............DISASTER!and when it broke my first reaction is laugh when the whole world is looking at me:)

before it looked absolutely fine and great and normal~

and after the experiment~ahak!:p i thought if not telling the teacher but unfortunately the sound 'piang!' too damn loud...i had no choice but to admit-.-

the birthday cake i bought for syeh ren~ which is equal to my dinner last night~

ren ren!he's such an adorable girl isn't she??shweeeeeeeeet!~btw..in her mind.she had a little wish-to grow taller....at least A LITTLE:p

me and her~there's a lot of pictasss that we had taken actually~but some i had ruined it~cz i am not really skillfull in camwhoring with people~sori syeh ren:)

and i had a really busy buzeeeeeee ugleee sickeeeee week~!^^

i tried to spend each and everyday busily because i try not to think of YOU~because i will start to miss you~start to cry like a baby~just filling my time~and countings the days till you come back xiaobaby~

lovey~s0okyee^0^

i am feeling really lonely and fat fat fat.....i feel really fat today...after that 'nasi lemak' i had this morning....god...

sick-fat-sad-lonely

i've really gotta see you wherever you are~i am wishing on the stars....wishing that you would reveal everything and anything that's inside your heart...wish that i could really know what's in your mind~how i wish...you only knew what i felt inside for you~you probably haven't got a clue but i wish you knew that i need you~that..i am alone..all by myself..those beautiful things that happened in our love story..i would just remember it forever~

there are people telling me that i am wasting my time with you~and that you will never be mine~but love is the game of chances~so i will take my chance with you~cute you~and i would have a piece of you with me wherever i go~just be good to me~i need you to be good to me~

mummy start to kill me~daddy got no time for me~sister is busy~i know you are too~
but i just hope you knew~i need you~ and just be good to me~

took some freaking medicine but it's not working on me~i am suppresing the tears but it starts to flow now..when i start thinking about you~xiaobaby~it was you that i missing~i never wanna know that truth..i never get to trust you like i used to anymore~i am never always at your side and you are not too~and my heart starts to speak~trust you i would...there's something in you that could always bring me back to joy if i am sad..and there's something in you that make me okay when i am down..when you are face to face with me~

you take me to the place that i ain't been but now~

i am feeling lonely againT.T

shoooo shwetttttttttt~:(

i kinda thought if this song now when i am sick~
decided to see this very 'terharu' video

i spend my weekends with him^^ and i found out that i don't know a lot of things about him..i am not the one that used to know him very well anymore..but..he's such a sweet guy...but at the same time make me mad,sad and happy in just 2days....blend of expressionssssssss

grazie~!for the time that we spent...although made me in tears...

**smiling in the heart**
mwahhhhh~btw..thanks for the shirt...preti:)ur scent!

now that u are gone..i am alone again...back to someone so emo..so :(.now that u are back there...i gotta spend my days alone..not knowing anything about you...now that u are not here...i had got noone to share my everything with..just me me me and me...and now that u are gone...i gotta work my tails off for trial...trying my very very best~

now that you are gone...
i am nothing

i wonder and thinking huh...how our love story began??
girl meets boys and look into him in his eyes...time stands still and both of that two hearts catch fire..off we go...for a rollercoaster ride...about 2 years and a half now...up and down we go..and when things tried to seperate us every single time..there's voice telling me 'it's too soon to settle down' i couldnt seem like who i am and so is him...because this just seem like love..i don't know...is it too real??there will be no end to our love story??wondering**what will be the ending..will the feelings be so strong after standing for so long??fairy tale??fiction??eternity??

won't end won't end~never ending story of mine~

ohhh ya~!and i cant wait for xiaobaby come back tmr!
so damn missssssssssss him~
and and and and and here i gotta tell you all...that...hmm...we kinda got along again:)

LOUIS LIONG MING HUEI AND ONG SOOK YEE OFFICIALLY GOT TOGETHER AGAIN^^

i noe i noe...it's crazy right :x

i love cupcakes!:)

today's my daddy's bday:)= 9th of july...
i managed to prepare some cupcakes/muffin??for my daddy~
ahak~!my never ever bake anything before in my entire life
it's really funny..i dont even have that little oven to bake at home....

yesterday**in school..i was thinking...what to give my daddy for his bday...
really looking forward to it~since my daddy us getting older from year to year,so i decided to do something that i never do before in my 17 years...i would just make some cards or buy something for him every year.....
so i decided to....BAKE SOME DELICIOUS MUFFINS!:)(although i never did anything like that before)
hmmm...i was thinking...where u shall buy those ingredients??where shall i get those recipes??where shall i bake it??where shall i find an oven??willl it work??or 'hangus'??
i went back home from school and i just went on the internet to find some of those recipes..
it's written...baking powder...cream of tartar...castor sugar...confectioners' sugar...vanilla extract..and my heart was thinking...wth!i never seen anything like that before....and i watched all kinds of stupid videos in youtube showing how to make muffins/cupcakes....and i was like...hmm..kinda easy huh~(boasting around)
i went GIANT with mummy and she decided to cook HER REALLY FAMOUS CURRY CHICKEN WITH 'MAN TAO' for daddy and cook come nice food for his party tonight...while...me??busy with my little muffins...keke..we reached there about 5 in the evening and mummy went her her way to buy her ingredients and i gotta 'zhap sang' and find my own...
went to the so called 'flour' section and i got all those flour, sugar and bla bla and i realised....
oh!i didn't know that there are so many things that i haven't seen before...lol:S

and there i go...on my adventure..finding all kinds of stupid ingredients...
and tick!my ingredients done!
now i gotta think where can i find an oven huh???blur blur me...
i called syeh ren and she didn't pick up my call..that lazy piggie must be sleeping there..
then i called bonnie and aha!she said she could help me but with ONE LITTLE CONDITION-i will be fine with her dog..she said-if you have no problem with my 3 BIG DOGS then i will be fine with you...
lol
and at last..........................
after all that silly questions i asked bonnie..silly stuff that we do..a little failure and
get bit by her dog....fuh!
D-E-N-G D-E-N-G

-10.10 p.m and i went backw ith nelson..with his bike....which i hate the most..i hate riding on a bike...TRAUMA!i had to take those muffins like that all the way home and when we stopped at that traffic light...there's a malay man in a grey myvii and he asked...

"jual kuih ke??berapa ser??"

i was like shit you!then nelson laugh at me...huh! after all it was really fun experience...thanks nelson and bonnie:) and happy birthday daddy!love love love love love love you!mmmmmmmmmwahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

owh owh~!talk so much but forgotten to tell you all what cupcakes is that....as from the internet..from the famous chef-nigella..from her famous tv show-nigella feasts....it's state that it's chocolate chip cupcakes...but but but it turned out to be more like a muffin...so i also don't know...janji nice can dy la wei:) and i added a little choco topping on top of the cupcakes and owh!bonnie suggested that maybe we can add a little of her almond nuts on top..so the yellow yellow sprinkles on top is her idea...and nelson suggested that we can put some of his fav nips on top...over all~!it's ROJAK^^

sook yee's wishing list**

*ngek**other than straight a's in SPM la~

uploading photosssss soon^^

just too busy busy busy to camwhore and take pictassss....problems problems problemsssss..
neverending.....

expressing me~me~me~me~

looking for somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to..I'm looking for someone who won't pretend..Somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you..And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel...Someone who can keep it real...And who knows the way.....The way I like to have it my way.....And I'm looking for someone who takes me there.....Wants to share....Shows he cares....Thinkin' you're the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? Is it you?Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?Could you be the one I need?I'm looking for someone to share my pain....Someone who I can run to....Who will stay with me when it rains....Someone who I can cry with through the night....Someone who I can trust whose heart is right....And I'm looking for someone....And I'm looking for someone who understandsHow I feel
Take for granted how much I care...Appreciates that I'm there.....Someone who listens....And someone I can call who isn't afraid of love to share

this world is really really strange....STRANGE AND SCARY at times...it's a really strange world indeed that we are living in...just small little things could be bossed around and gossips and rumours would start to spread everywhere...and just a little thing you do,,,would really bring such a big impact...ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE A GIRL..but i am happy to be i girl..because i love to be pampered...
had never never felt the feelings of being pampered for so damn long time...damn miss those feeling...i even forgotten how does it feel to be pampered....
i grow with all rumours and bad ...negative things around me...i grew up everyday to be more mature with all those obstacles around me...i learnt to make decisions..learnt so many things....i'd change..but i think to be better...i had learnt to protect myself..fight for my own rights...
ahaaaaaaaaa!of course my dream is to be rich and successful of course...but learn from mistakes...it's okay if people misunderstood things about me...i know there are some true friends..those who really knows the inner inner me...
i was a really bad girl last time i thought...but now..when things happen in school..i would just choose to keep quiet...shut your mouth up is sometimes the best way not to get involved in something....that's the most important thing i had learnt all along..keep quiet is the best thing...and now i would just stick with my friends, family and closest ones...it's really hard to trust people around you....
SO DON'T TRUST ANYONE BUT YOURSELF AND SOMEONE YOU THINK YOU COULD....
and from my believe..i only few few people in my life...

overall i am still the 'DEGIL' sook yee:)
my mummy daddy xiaobaby sister
everyone nah said that.....what to do??accept me as who i am..
whoopsie....

i only hope for a thing...just to be happy for just a day..just a few hours to make me really smile from my true heart....i had never been happy since u were there..maybe u will just blame on me again and said that i dont trust you...you would never imagine how much i trust...i could just not believe and say NO when the world is actually pointing fingers at you..i would tel them on the face that you are not that kind of person...because i know...but all along you were keeping things from me...you wouldn't tell..even the whole world and i would be the fool, not knowing anything about you...who am i??who am i in your heart??did you really ask yourself??do you really really just ask your heart silently??ask properly...is this what u want??

i don't think so..my mind is so so so sooooooo frust now...i cant tahan...i am gonna a psycho anytime...T.T i couldn't stand all this..i am just a normal human being that wants a normal life with a normal love and normal care..all along i don't expect much from you..i don't need your money or any gift or ask anything specific from you...i just want you and YOUR TRUE LITTLE HEART...that would be enough for me...my days here are really bad..every single day passed WITH TEARS..never a day i live without my tears
sometimes being tease...bullied...which they think is actually funny but it's not..the pain that i am going through every single month...being tortured by those pain...why don't you understand??why don't you be the good one to let me go??out of this quarrel??
i think we got no more faith anymore...things are getting worse.....from the best to good then good to bad then bad to worse...now...is the worst moment in my life i had ever go through...it's like i am everyday in hell....

maybe you said i change...i just want little things from you...just stop arguing with me for just a moment for just a minute u keep quiet and listen to amm my problems...i had not say this out from my heart...i fell so suffering with my heart that's full of so many things...i want u to be the person that shares everything with me...shares all my sad moments...but you are not the one anymore...you are not T.Twhat we do is just quarrel quarrel and quarrel everyday....i smiled when i see your sleeping because it's been a long you had never been close to me..really really close to me...we are so far apart now..really far...T.T i can feel that distance...i am just really sad

when i cried last time...you would pamper me like baby..help me to wipe off my tearss..and really tell me not to cry...when i said things to you..you would silently listen to me..really look in my eyes and really listen to me...T.T when i had really bad moments you are the one to be at my side...
that was last time...
things had really changed between us...
T.T
i am really suffering with you....
i am....
and i am....
i don't know what to do
who can show me the right path??who can tell me??who can share with me??who can always be there for me??

i had so many damn problems going on in school..taking underneath my skirt videos...i couldn't trust people around me everyday in school...i got noone to trust noone to tell noone to count on T.T i wouldn't you change T.T because i know you didn't..deep down in your heart there's still the true you~
T.T i never thought we would be like that....T.T at this kind of stage...that already can't be help...just let me go T.T
i really feel like commiting suicide now..
repeating what i used to do last time
T.T
i couldn't think like a normal person now.....T.T

:(

~~i felt guilty for not being a good gf~~

i kept asking myself..
am i not good enough~
what i did?did i change?i am like a whole new person now?
am i so unlikeable?am i so hard to be accepted?
what i did?what i said?
am i really that bad?
didn't i reach the pointer to be a perfect gf?
why what???:(
i just hope u are at my side and everything will just settle
i know that after that we will quarrel again~
i just want a few moments~
moments when we were sweet
**which we never had so long**
I LOVE YOU

~went to happy land and saujana with chung and joined bonnie,christine,shi hui,mae chel and also steven~ngek~
i sat there and i kept really quiet
and everyone realised that i am quite moody because of what incident also they know~
when xiaobaby sms me...i didn't know what i should reply him
i don't know what i should say to him~
i don't know what i should do

and i just kept looking at my phone
hoping that xiaobaby would say something that tickles my heart~
since he's there...we always quarrel
maybe i am not understanding enough
and maybe we didn't communicate a lot
maybe maybe maybe**-.-**
i go everywhere
i am just like a hopeless person
even when i go to school to meet up with others like lovely jia yun that concerned about me so much
everyone will look at me will that ONE KIND look~
that ** u broke up with louis,so i guees i better just keep quiet LOOK**
arghhhhhhhhhh:(
i dont wanna break up with you
yet
i didnt know what to do~
TELL ME TELL ME......ngek!

thursday=it's gonna be weekend again

there goes another week~
the 1st week of july............................................P-A-S-T
time just fly like nobody's business~
as i grow...i understand more from day to day~
but yet~i really didn't change
i am still the old me~

actually,i don't really know what is our relationship status now...
break or no break?
okay or not okay?
sweet or not sweet?
normal or abnormal?
i seriously got no more time to be wasted anymore~
but xiaobaby~i will accompany u when u need me
even when the world world are against u...against our relationship~very belit belit realtionship
i forgive u
for scolding me because i knew that u didn't mean it~
because i know that u still really care about me~
because i know...................

xiaobaby~i want to repeat what i had said last night
after u said that = i always make u in bad mood...A-L-W-A-Y-S

my heart immediately broke after u actually said that to me
after so much of effortsss~
you know what....
you are the only one who can make me cry and laugh the most
and when u make me cry...u are the only one that can make me stop crying
you the one that always make me sad
but i also are the only one that can make me happy again~
i know i always get u in bad mood
but cant believe u said that
maybe u dont mean it agaon xiaobaby~