♥blingbling♥™ψ♪♪

I realized something today. I don't want to get any older, never. All that happens from there on is my skin sags even make up can't do shit anymore and of course my health degrades. Everything practically degrades from that point on. I've always wanted to grow up faster, I've always wanted to finish school fast, move out from home and live all by myself. I'm at a point now where these things are attainable but in realizing to an extent, I don't want all these. I am an independent lady and I believe I can do everything including solving my own problems myself. But no, I need to be taken care of, I need to be pampered, I need people around me. I'm so scared of the future I can't even process in my brains what am I gonna do.
After breaking up with my first boyfriend, I cannot deny the fact that I no longer believe in fairytales-love story no more. And since I came here, I felt nothing but lonely. I've always felt one person could absolve all my fears and all my worries, but I'm beginning to realize that it's not one person, it's the presence of any person. I just need to feel loved to not worry about any of it. As long as I know I'll have somebody there to experience it with me, it doesn't matter. But I've never be this alone for as long as I've been until the past two months, until this guy came into my life. I met a couple of people along the way but things just weren't right. I still feel lonely and down in these months but I guess that's just how the ladies roll. I'm grateful to be having him by my side and still be able to stick up for me. I'm lucky, I'm grateful and I'm looking forward to see where future would bring us.