♥blingbling♥™ψ♪♪

It feels like I really need you in my life as my significant other, to guide me and tell me what should I do in my life, since you are currently already creating a path for your future. God must have made reasons for two person with different backgrounds but almost the same personality (high level of ego and temper problems) to come along together. I'm really glad God made us together for almost 7 months now, we share our everything together. I've decided you might not be ready to be committed, to live the promise of togetherness between us. You might not as committed as you are when you were with her, I understand. You were willing to wait for her, you were willing to die for her. I understand and I realize that I grew up being an ugly duckling, having a really low self-esteem, I over-think everything, I'm not good in explaining or making sense at times, I fear that someday you'll get bored of me & sometimes I just hate the way I am. I don't mean to be disrespectful at times, to always curse, to act like I don't care when I do to give up. I really wanna be with you but I just think I'm not the one for you. I'm sorry I'm like this. I'm sorry I let shit get into me. But from the day you became my significant other, you brought me back to believing in love again just when I thought noone cares. Yes, we both are facing problem in this relationship and I keep chasing around until the point I'm gonna have to stop running in circles because it's going back to the same point over & over again.
I called you moments ago about 6.45 maybe and the thought of calling you crossed my mind almost a thousand times. I'm so sorry I didn't have the heart to wake you up from your beauty sleep but I was crying too badly. Today is one of those days when I'm not particularly happy, today is one of those days when I wanna kick someone in the throat. I wish I was one of those people who are joy to be around, but I'm not. It's hard to write out my thoughts, or even share for that matter. In my head, it all makes sense but words refuse to form when I type! It's very frustrating but all I wanna say is that I decided not to be your barrier anymore. All the best things in life are being wished for you my darling, and if you are there on top, you might have already forgotten me. But I'm telling you, if at that point of time, you manage to find a girl that can put up with your worst days and go through hell for you in a relationship, don't her go. Your heart is your most beautiful asset, don't forget to use it.
Yes, we didn't get to spend much time together but I just want you to know that every moment I spent with you, I would pray to God I wanna be able to freeze the time. Trust me baby, your life will get better. Maybe not today, or tomorrow or even next week. But it will get better eventually, I pray. You'll get back there on the top. I love you, you know I always do.