i don't wanna giv a shit***************>.<

there were times that i don't really know~
should i laugh hard??
should i cry hard??
should i scold hard??
or should i just do nothing and make that damn blur face pretending i didn't noe??

if you never meant whatever u said............why u even bother????
if you noe u're gonna break it.................why promise??
if you have no sense of trying........why boast??
if you could have done shit worse..............why now??
if you noe it hurts...................why again???


there were times that my heart really don't understand what were u and ur heart thinking actually??can i just an incredible gadget to detect what is in your mind actually??
i though u were diff~but guess what.......................i noe now___

I A-M T-O-T-A-L-L-Y W-R-O-N-G

times when u were gone....everything seems to change..changed dark and sorrow...
all the path that i take and pass............is just colourless and meaningless i shall say
things were not like it used to be anymore...
everything~

shall i just regret??
regret that i bloody proposed to you??
that i push away what people thought about me??
what people misunderstood about me??
what people misunderstood about our relationship??

how i wish that i could actually share this sad thing with someone that i can really really trust~
but too bad~!the only damn person that i can ever trust is you~
since the first day i ever noe u~
me with my freaking thick face proposing to you~
sacrificing my dignity.......as a girl~
sacrificing myself~~~being damn thick face~~~~
just to tell the whole world how much do you actually meant to me~~~how much u were in me~
how much i actually love u~~

can i still trust u now??
can i still tell every single thing to u now??
can i still do the same like i do last time??
past is always the past...some things that are already fade can't be found back anymore~
will this gonna happen to us??
human sometimes need to let go~
and i think maybe that's what i should do now~
maybe it's time for me to really really let go~

is it guys are all the same..................cannot be trusted??
is it guys are all the same..................do not noe how to care about girl's feelings??
is it guys are all the same.......................love damn bitches??
is it guys are all the same...............with their freaking horny damn attitude??
sometimes i feel like laughing hard...i would just rather turn to be a lesbian instead~
really really feel like laughing hard eventually i'll get tired and won't give two f***ks about telling u if'ssssssss and why'sssssssssssssssssss

beyond speechless

beyond dissapoinment


there were times that i feel sad and mad too~
not only u~
i was never wrong about you,i trusted you______________this shows how much i can be wrong about u as well~


and believe me~
i was even close to say how could you

because i don't even feel sad for you
i feel sorry for myself
for us
for so many times that i actually do so damn much for you you and you

remember once u told me it's forever??
remember once u cried so badly cz of me??
i get it now~u just know how to hit the spot at the right places~
i'm just too dumb and stupid~
let me warn you now~
listen to that properly~
damn properly~
that might be a great news to you~
it's not too late to back up right now and go for other damn bitches that u feel could do better than me~

I D-O N-O-T W-A-N-T-O G-I-V-E A S-H-I-T B-O-U-T Y-O-U